


Mister Hunter

by flappiedungeon (orphan_account)



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M, I don't know what I'm doing, Modern AU, also my OTPs are peeta/happiness, and peeta/katniss/HAPPINESS, because mockingjay is just the worst and it makes me so sad, ghost is a weird word, i don't know how to tag this and i don't know why i keep calling people pumpkin pie, i'm a ghost and you're a ghost hunter au, katniss/happiness, please be informed that there's a lack of ghost hunting in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:18:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/flappiedungeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt: i'm a ghost and you're a ghost hunter</p><p>Excerpt: </p><p>"My name is Peeta," he announces to the fireplace before him, knowing that The Voice is somewhere close to the bedroom. Which is far, <i>far</i> away from the fireplace. "Peeta Mellark."</p><p>She throws a pillow at his head with precise, deadly aim.</p><p>He giggles, which doesn't help to convince anyone that he's a Real Ghost Hunter.</p><p>The lights start flickering, one at the time, and together, they go <i>crazy</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mister Hunter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Itarille](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itarille/gifts).



> Hullo! This is my first Katniss/Peeta fic, and I really hope you enjoy this piece of ridiculousness. 
> 
> Dear itarille, this one's mainly for you, because you're lovely and I'd like to share this fact with the _world_.

“So, you’re a ghost buster?” asks the woman with exceedingly purple hair. Peeta decides to blind her with Smile #32 aka The Charmer, to distract her from how much he detests the question.

“Ghost _hunter_ ,” he corrects gently, with The Charmer plastered on his face.

“Buster, hunter, pssh, smmsh.”

The Charmer is a disaster. Peeta watches it crash and burn to the ground, and feels sorry for himself. His smile dims a little.

“What do you mean?” he enquires, in a tone which turns out to be less polite than he’d like.

“It means you’re _not_ Bill Murray and I don’t care about you.”

“That’s harsh,” says a voice, and Peeta subtly takes note of the direction it came from.

“Miss, you called to--”

“Don’t you dare _Miss_ me, _Mister_ ,” the lady says viciously, which results in a muffled laugh from the sofa. “You’re here to fix the--,” she waves her hands aimlessly and gestures towards the whole apartment, “whole ghost thing I have going on.”

“The ghost thing?” Peeta repeats, because he’s not feeling charitable towards the woman who pointed out his lack of Bill Murray-ness.

“The ghost thing,” she says firmly, with a clear _duh_ attached to the end of the sentence, along with a _you’re a moron, throw yourself off this apartment and get me Bill Murray_. “Get it fixed,” she then demands, and she leaves the room after bestowing him a _you’re-dead-to-me_ glare.

Peeta takes a moment to mourn his now-useless Culinary Degree, cursing himself over the decisions that led to him being involved in the business of Ghost Hunting.

“Is she always like that?” he asks the room in general.

There is no reply.

++++

Peeta insists that he has a connection with The Hauntees. This is False and is A Lie. (Peeta is also fond of Capital Letters. It just makes things sound important, which is Great.) He senses their presence, but that’s the extent of his abilities. His _machine_ is what does the rest of the work. There is rarely any talking involved between Peeta and The Hauntees, unless one counts Being Attacked By Sinister Creatures Refusing To Leave After Death as _talking_.

Peeta doesn't.

So when he hears a voice the next day while setting up his equipment at Not-Miss Purple’s place, he’s admittedly shocked by the turn of events. Ghosts don’t like communicating, as a general rule. It’s too much of a hassle, as it takes much effort and concentration to do so, and the dead are often… lazy. Because the floating around and moving things with your mind, he finds, are abilities that encourage procrastination as well as laziness. Hell, if   _he_ could do any of those things...

"I'm sorry?" He asks the not-so empty room, a little stupidly.

He hears the eyeroll. Peeta's not sure how, but he _does_.

"Machine," a voice dripping with condescension informs him,"will blow up."

There is a pause, presumably for Peeta to process the information, and the voice continues.

"Wrong wires." Another long pause. "Boom," the voice finally concludes, with a triumphant note of finality and emphasis on the ' _boom_ '.

Peeta wants coffee. Peeta wants to bake something and eat it all because this job is sapping him of his will to live. Peeta wants to laugh, because _she_ , The Voice, is making him _smile_ , and he feels like he hasn't properly, genuinely smiled in months.

She's properly disgusted with him over his smile, though. Realizing this makes his smile transform into a stunning grin. He doesn't hear from her for the rest of the day, but he senses the palpable irritation as he works.

It's _delightful_.

++++

"Why can you hear me so clearly?"

Peeta is frowning discontentedly at his currently useless machine. He’s never seen it malfunction to this extent, and it bugs him. The question only makes his eyebrows furrow closer together as he thinks about it.

After five minutes, he finds his answer.

"I don't know."

The exasperation radiating from beside the coffee table would be deadly if Peeta didn't find the whole situation so utterly _amazing_.

"Idiot," she mutters unkindly.

"Hmm," he replies agreeably.

++++

Not-Miss Purple is understandably upset at his lack of progress. She calls herself Johanna, which Peeta is suspicious about. In his mind, Johannas are supposed to be sweet and happy, but this Johanna is _Not_.

This Johanna gestures wildly at things and swears a lot. Spending 13 minutes with her was enough for him to fill out twenty-five imaginary Swear Jars. He nods along earnestly as she yells at him about being useless at his job. He asks for a little more time, promising that this particular job will be done for free. Her anger subsides, but she remains unsweet and decidedly unhappy.

Very suspicious.

++++

"My name is Peeta," he announces to the fireplace before him, knowing that The Voice is somewhere close to the bedroom. Which is far, _far_ away from the fireplace. "Peeta Mellark."

She throws a pillow at his head with precise, deadly aim.

He giggles, which doesn't help to convince anyone that he's a Real Ghost Hunter.

The lights start flickering, one at the time, and together, they go _crazy_.

++++

A note awaits him just before he leaves.

 _Katniss Everdeen_ is hastily scrawled on the paper, almost as if the writer was hesitant in writing it, and decided to finally just pen down the words out of frustration.

"Katniss," Peeta says out loud, and puts a hand on his chest to feel how erratically his heart is beating.

++++

"I make fantastic cheese buns."

"You're too nice, you should do something about that."

"There's no such thing as _too nice_ ," he chides fondly.

"There is, and it's you," Katniss says, like it's an inconsequential fact, but her words makes his traitorous heart skip a beat.

"I'm not nice to _everyone_ ," he admits.

"You are," she insists, "but you're especially nice to me."

"Because I like you."

His reply is heartfelt and fearless, and when Katniss doesn't answer him as she usually does, he tinkers with his machine quietly.

++++

"When I was a kid, my dad used to take me to this bakery, and they sold the most amazing cheese buns."

"Ah, rivals. Where was this awful place?" Peeta asks, with a grave expression etched on his face, and the sound of her laughter reminds him of a warm breeze on a cold, freezing day.

She laughs so much more now, compared to when he first heard her. She seems _happy_ , and Peeta feels his heart _soar_ towards the sky and possibly beyond. It’s cheesy and appalling, the magnitude of his adoration for her,  but he’s completely past the point of no return.

"The point is," she continues, ignoring his Very Important question, "they remind me of you."

"The smelly bakery, or the Not-Made-By-Me cheese buns?"

"The _amazing_ Not-Yours cheese buns."

"I'm wounded over your preference for cheese buns that are not mine, but flattered by your acknowledgement of my amazingness."

"You're awful, I don't know why I talk to you," she claims loftily.

"Because I'm pretty damn handsome," is his haughty reply.

Johanna comes in at this particular point of the conversation, and Peeta is able to hear Katniss howling with laughter. Johanna raises her perfectly plucked eyebrows at him, and he shuffles his feet in embarrassment.

"Um."

++++

"Are you fu--"

"And I'll stop you there, because my delicate ears can't take the completely inappropriate question you'll come up with."

"Fine." Johanna folds her arm. "Are you banging my ghost?"

"That's not any better."

"You're here to deal with the situation, Mellark, not to have nauseating conversations with Katniss."

Peeta gapes at her.

"You know Katniss?"

Johanna looks away. The mood shifts in an instant, and the Johanna standing before him now looks drained. _Sad_. Peeta hates it.

"Yes," she answers tiredly.

"Tell me," implores Peeta, his mind bombarded with demands of _tell me everything, tell me what happened, tell me her story, tell me what to do because I've gone and fallen in love with her_\--

++++

The story goes like this:

Mr Everdeen used to work for a man named Coriolanus Snow; working at the mines by day, and doing scientific research about floral life by night; all under the sponsorship of Snow himself. But Mr Everdeen soon learned of Snow's _other_ businesses, most of which were illegal and involved innocent victims.

Mr Everdeen made it his duty to collect the evidence needed to send Snow behind bars; but in the process of doing what was right, he was murdered. The responsibility and threat then went to Katniss and her family, who worked hard to publicize Snow's wrongs so that she and her family could live in safety, without the terrifying sense of dread looming over their lives.

She succeeded in collecting every single piece of evidence with the help of Gale Hawthorne. She succeeded in convincing Gale to get her mother to safety. Prim, her beloved sister, was stubborn and wanted to stay by Katniss' side.

Snow's mercenaries killed Prim. They found her body in front of the mines where her father used to work. And presumably, they killed Katniss as well, though her body was never found. The evidence Katniss hid disappeared along with her body.

This is a story Johanna knows by heart, and it's a story she wishes she never knew.

++++

"I really need to rent out the place, I can't afford to keep it anymore."

"And that's why you called me."

"Yes."

"Well  Johanna, you will have no problem renting this place out."

"You can help her? You know, to haunt someplace else?" She questions hopefully.

"No, nothing of that sort."

She gives him a " _then, what's the damn point_ " look that he's getting quite familiar with.

"I," he declares, "will move in here."

++++

"So, Johanna told you about my dad."

"Yes."

"You should know, I don't remember what happened after. I've tried, but-- I don't... There's Prim and loud noises, but I--"

"You don't remember. It's _fine_ , Katniss."

"Is it?" She snaps at his direction.

His eyes are bright as he looks at the ceiling.

"It is," he says firmly, "because I will help you."

++++

"You're ridiculous."

"You're ridiculous- _er_."

"That's childish, Peeta."

"Mmhmm."

Peeta looks at the alarming stack of papers scattered in the living room. He decides that Katniss needs a little fun and time away from the mess, both the figurative and literal ones.

He thinks for a moment before a smug smirk appears on his face, which immediately earns a horrified "oh no" from Katniss. The remote is found and Peeta turns on the TV, proceeding to make himself comfortable on the sofa as the exact show he's thinking of comes on.

"I know you can't see me, but I'm looking at you with _disgust_ ," Katniss says feelingly. Peeta hums happily and senses her settling down beside him. He waits.

"I hate you," she voices out petulantly.

"Okay," he says gamely, while popping a Mentos into his mouth.

"And this, is American Idol," Ryan Seacrest cries out from the television, followed by a loud cheer from the audience.

++++

"Turn over to the next page!"

"But I'm not done yet," complains Peeta.

"Well, read faster!"

"This is my book, I get to read it however I want."

He continues reading.

"Stop glaring at me, I will not combust on the spot and let you have the book."

"I can try," he hears her mumble, and he ignores her degrading comments about him. He does, however, savor how close she is to him, and if he concentrates hard enough, he fancies that he's able to feel her warm breath on the side of his cheek.

"Stop plotting about stealing my book," he admonishes, which results in her hissing hatefully at him.

++++

“I can’t see you,” Peeta says quietly one day, “but there’s a sunset orange tinge where I sense you.”

“Sunset orange?” she questions, in an equally hushed tone.

“It’s my favorite color.”

++++

"Katniss, why the hell should I order Indian when I want Chinese?"

"I like the smell!" She defends.

"But--"

" _Fine_ , have your terrible Chinese food."

He hears her stomp away and thinks about how she's the noisiest ghost he's ever encountered. He orders Indian as a compromise, manfully admitting that he can't stand the thought of having genuinely upset her. Katniss' lack of complaints over American Idol is a clear sign that his method proved successful.

It's a shame, though. He rather enjoys her vicious commentary of the contestants.

++++

The difficult days are the days they dedicate to finding out where Katniss hid all the evidence. Peeta doesn't like thinking about those days.

++++

"Peeta, there's someone at the door," Katniss whispers, shaking his shoulders and waking him up from his impromptu nap on the sofa.

"Hello?" He says out loud, which earns him a panicked " _shhhh_ " from Katniss. She's right to be careful though, Peeta thinks, as the door is kicked down and there's a sudden, burning pain on his right thigh.

"Peeta!" Katniss shouts from a distance, and he hears the masked assailant fall to the ground with a thud.

There's a soft hand resting on his cheek, and he blearily opens his eyes to the most gorgeous creature he's ever seen.

"Katniss?" He slurs out, rapidly losing his hold on consciousness.

"Yes, you'll be alright, the ambulance is on their way, just hold on."

Her eyes are wild and slightly crazed, her mouth pursed with worry, and she looks _terrible_ , full of worry and dread.

It's the most beautiful thing _ever_.

"You're perfect," he manages to say, "you're beautiful."

+++++

Johanna steps into the quiet apartment. She knows that Katniss will be listening.

"He's alright."

There's no response, but then again, Johanna never expected one. Peeta has been the only one able to communicate with Katniss, for some unfathomable reason. Not Gale, not Madge, not even her own mother. Only Peeta, and Johanna suspects that it will _always_ be Peeta; to hear Katniss and to make her laugh, to make her sing again after Mr Everdeen died, and always Peeta, who would help Katniss learn to _love_.

It's all so damn tragic, and Johanna could just cry over the hopelessness of it all.

"If you keep this up, Katniss, you'll kill him. He'll be the maniac who lives alone in the haunted apartment, with no family or friends, with only _you_ , and Katniss, that's just unfair. That's so-- _so_ unfair to the nicest person we both know, and if this continues, he will _die_." Johanna stops. Swallows. " Your research? Finding the evidence and truth? It's what killed _Prim_ ," Johanna's voice is shaking now, and the memory of lovely, wonderful Prim's lifeless body is branded in Johanna's mind.

"It's what killed your little sister," she continues, "it's what killed you, and would you risk Peeta as well for this _truth_?"

The silence is deafening, and it weighs heavily on her shoulders.

"I have no one left that I love, Katniss. The pursuit of this has taken them all, a-- away from me. Would you," Johanna asks softly, "let it take Peeta from this world as well?"

++++

Peeta is discharged from the hospital after five days. He will probably limp for the rest of his life, but that's not what he mourns most. Not by a long shot.

"I can't sense you anymore," he tells Katniss, genuinely devastated by the loss of his favorite color that he associates completely with Katniss’ presence. "I can't tell if you're laughing at me or trying to strangle me with your eyes."

"You talk too much, sit down."

"The pain medications are really strong, so I won't be great company for a bit," he warns.

"You were never the best company anyway," is her snarky reply, but it doesn't have the intended effect because she sounds _off_ somehow, and Peeta frowns discontentedly.

"Sing me a song," he demands, hoping for a measure of the normality and _rightness_ they had together.

"Okay," she whispers, and this is what makes his whole body feel cold, with his heart beating out an unsteady rhythm of _wrong wrong wrong_ at her quiet behavior.

"Thank you for saving my life,” he whispers back, “everything's okay now.”

He’s hoping that this will be what she needs to hear. As the drowsiness overcomes him, though,  he manages to think to himself: _no_ , it's _not_.

++++

There is a note in the table where his medications are kept.

 _Thank you for everything, Peeta Mellark. Now, live_ your _life. Forget about me and my story. Make your own, spread your happiness and niceness, one cheese bun at a time._

_Katniss_

++++

He throws his medicine and his crutches at the wall in fury.

"Katniss? Katniss! Stop this, talk to me!"

He hops with his one good leg towards his bedroom, breathing heavily and making his way to the machine, the one that'll help him find _her_ so he can _yell_ at her--

It’s gone.

" _Katniss_! Don't do this!"

There is no reply. His leg gives out and he collapses to the ground. He chokes back a sob and stares blankly at the wall.

++++

Peeta doesn't move out. He faithfully pays the rent but he's reserved and quiet, completely unlike Peeta the Ghost Hunter from a few months ago.

++++

Sometimes, out of the blue, Peeta will look up from a book he's reading or a show he's watching (anything but American Idol), and say loudly, with a clear voice:

"Katniss Everdeen."

The silence will be what answers his call, and he would return to whatever he was doing. But every single time, the face that looks away is painted with an expression more broken than the last.

++++

One morning, Peeta makes an announcement to the apartment.

"I will find you," he promises, and he leaves.

++++

Peeta does not get home that night.

++++

"Peeta!"

Peeta smiles widely, wincing when the action makes his split lip bleed even more. His body is battered and bruised from the beating he received, but it's all worth it.

"I'm very mad at you," he tries to say, but his words are muffled and sound more like a groan of pain.

“Oh god, Peeta, I was so _worried_.”

He gestures hazily to the body lying on his right, the one on the messy bed. Katniss gasps.

"Peeta, you-- you _found_ me."

He squeezes the limp hand that he’s holding on to, and cherishes the voice he adores so much that’s coming from his left.

"You're in a coma," he points out needlessly, "not dead."

"But-- I'm here, and my body is there,” her train of thought is derailed when he attempts to move, “Peeta-- you need an ambulance."

"I do," he nods seriously. "It's all up to you now," he says, and proceeds to pass out from blood loss.

++++

"I texted Gale a coded message so he'd know it's me."

"Very smart," praises Peeta. He then narrows his eyes distrustfully. "You left," he accuses.

"I had to."

"You really didn't."

"I don't know if I'll ever wake up," she says, changing the subject.

Peeta grins widely at her admission.

"Luckily for you, I have a machine that can help you with that. Speaking of which, _Everdeen_ , give me back my damned machine."

++++

"What if I don't remember you?" Katniss asks.

Peeta waits for a long moment before answering.

"I don't know."

He sees a pencil flying his way with deadly speed, but is able to avoid it in time.

" _But_ \--” he says in what he thinks is a reassuring voice, “I'm very handsome, you'll fall in love with me anyway."

"I hate you," she says childishly, but her voice is laced with amusement and above all, _fondness_.

"See you on the other side, _Miss_."

"Don't _Miss_ me, _Mister_ ," she says with a laugh, and Peeta feels a soft kiss planted on his left cheek. It's more like a light breeze, but it's a _kiss_ nonetheless. It's enough to overwhelm him.

++++

Katniss opens her eyes.

"I remember you," is the first thing she says.

"It's my good looks," Peeta replies, heart threatening to beat right _out_ of his chest.

She grins radiantly at him, and Peeta places a kiss on the inside of her wrist.

++++

"You guys are disgustingly sappy and domestic," Johanna complains, but neither Katniss or Peeta comment on her manic grin of happiness.

++++

“I promised to make you the most amazing cheese buns ever to exist. Here they are, my lady."

Katniss takes a bite and moans indecently, which causes Peeta to bark out a loud laugh.

"Oh my god, these taste exactly like the ones I ate as a kid."

"What? From the smelly bakery?” he jeers. “Don't be insulting, Everdeen."

"Shut up, Peeta, tell me who taught you this so I can kiss the person."

"Well you _can't_ ," Peeta snaps, burning with jealousy. "This is _my_ recipe, and I've been making it for literally _ages_ , before your awful bakery man, and mine were so _good_ that dad sold them out in the shop, never mind that it was made by a kid, cause they were the best thing _ever_ okay? And I kept the money it got me cause I'm wise and wonderful-- oh."

She has been patiently waiting for his semi-incoherent rambling to end, and he shuffles his feet awkwardly.

"It's me," he says, a little dumbly.

"It's you," she responds shyly, and giggles with delight when he kisses her nose affectionately.

++++

“Who ya gonna call?” Katniss yells.

“I will deprive you of Awesome Cheese Buns, Everdeen.”

The yelling continues.

“Ghostbusters!”

“For the love of-- it’s _hunter_ , I am a ghost _hunter_ , why is that so hard to understand?”

“I can’t hear you! Who ya gonna call?”

“Fine, _fine_. You win.”

“Thank you.”

“I _am_ really good at my job, you know. Well, until you came along and my machine decided it loved _you_ more than it loved me.”

“I’m pretty lovable,” Katniss admits with a haughty sniff.

“If I do open a bakery, you’ll need to help out.”

“ _When_ you open it, I’ll get my minions to help you out.”

“Lazy ghost,” Peeta chastises, but he is cheerfully ignored.

“Come on, Mellark, time to leave behind the Ghost Hunting business and embrace the genius baker side.”

“Was that-- Did you just _compliment_ me?”

“It’s been known to happen. You rarely give me a chance to, you’re pretty dumb.”

“You should give pep talks, I’m terribly motivated right now,” Peeta deadpans.

She walks up to him and rests her palm on his cheek. He turns his face and nudges at her palm with his nose, before planting a firm kiss right in the middle of it.

“Peeta Mellark, I kind of adore you a lot,” she says with a sigh.

“And Katniss Everdeen, I sort of love you a ridiculous amount.”

She hums happily at his declaration and closes her eyes in contentment.

“Open the bakery, Peeta. Do what makes you happy.”

“I will,” he promises. “One cheese bun at a time.”

 

and they lived happily ever after, making dumb jokes and eating a ridiculous amount of cheese buns forever, while being in love love _love_ \-- _the end_

**Author's Note:**

> If you, for some unimaginable reason, enjoyed this, please let me know via a comment! I am totally willing to bribe ya'll with baked goods. [attempts to wink]
> 
> Reviews are appreciated more than words can say, and kudos are loved. 
> 
> [whispers] pumpkin pie


End file.
